Hey FindingPeace,
I'm so glad that you had a great summer and your job sounds like it was totally idyllic. I know what you mean about circles - been there - and I started feeling weary reading your post without ever having been in a room with your husband.
There was a thread on here recently about passive aggression that fits my XABF to a tee and it sounds like your husband is kind of in the same vein. Here's a link:
What's Up with the Passive Aggressive Man? - Associated Content - associatedcontent.com
It is unbelievably frustrating to try to make constructive progress or have a real conversation with someone who is adept at the circles. You're not being unfair. He seems to be alternating quacking with gaslighting, to be frank. He'll now go to therapy because you mean business. But he doesn't think he'll ever be able to let his defenses down (so therapy is already moot because even if he's there in body he's warning you that he won't participate). He thinks therapy is stupid and was "too busy" to follow up on one session - but he "never said he wouldn't go" (yes but he didn't go and refused to arrange a follow up with you to session number one - never being "unbusy" enough might not be an outright "no" to more therapy but same result). And he'll feel he has to "oerpetually prove himself" from here on in (neat way of cornering you into never being able to ask him to prove himself, ever - you and your absurd expectations!)
So basically, YOU are the one with the problem, YOU misunderstood his denouncing of therapy and refusal to go a second time as resistance, YOU are not to ask him to prove anything (like his commitment to the marriage by being willing to work on it, and YOU need to go into therapy understanding that he's not planning on letting down his guard (e.g. actually participating in the therapeutic process).
You're not leaving him over meaningless semantics. I suspect that if you leave it will be because he has failed, repeatedly, to commit to anything other than splitting hairs, trying to weasel out of his unwillingness to commit to trying to move forward/work on the relationship/find solutions. He knows you're unhappy and as far as I can tell he isn't doing anything to show that he cares either about your unhappiness or saving the relationship.
Under those circumstances, not going back for more of the same seems sound and healthy. Blaming you for leaving is passive aggressive nonsense - he's been refusing to show up to do anything but throw mental/verbal gymnastics at you for a good long while now.
Hugs,
SL