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Old 07-29-2010, 08:16 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
silkspin
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 390
When I was young I got into a serious relationship with a toxic guy who had issues with drugs/ alcohol and used to threaten to kill himself if I even tried to prematurely end a telephone call with him. He wasn't really going to do it - it was all about control. I have learned that this is not a good reason to stay in a relationship, to prevent someone from suicide! That's a huge pressure and no one has the right to do that to you.

I am still with my AH and we're trying to work on things. I did ask him to leave when I finally started Al Anon and did some recovery myself and learned that he was overstepping my boundaries. He got sober and we're together, but we're struggling with relapse now. I understand your thoughts on having it good in other ways, I think of those things too, but I remember Dr. Phil saying once that it's better to come from a broken home than to be from a broken home. Like some of the other posters said, 2 unhealthy parents versus one healthy one. As I learn more about my health and recovery, I tolerate less of his destructive behaviours and non-recovery. Eventually the scales may tip that despite the good things that we have, they will be trumped by the negative things which are harder to see, like the effect on mine and my daughters sanity. Go to Al Anon, read the literature, get informed. All these things will help you start putting one foot in front of the other, and before you know it you will be walking on a path where these agonizing questions and doubts will start dispelling and you will start getting clarity on what you need to do.
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