Originally Posted by
FreeingMyself 
AH has been coming by in the evenings to see the kids, which has been go great. We get along during these short stints, and talk w/ the kids. Well, tonight we attempt a discussion about "the situation". And as I suspected, it didn't go well.
I've followed your posts for quite some time, my dear.
He comes to see the kids, and you say that goes great.
What is the purpose in having a discussion about "the situation" while he's there to visit the kids?
He's
not going to change.
Trying to engage in a meaningful, rational conversation with an active alcoholic is nothing short of insanity. It just doesn't happen.
Is there any reason you can't just keep it at him seeing the kids for the evening, and that's it?
His going to mooch off of a friend is the
direct result of his actions. Throw the guilt back where it belongs, hon...with him. The guilt is not yours to accept.
That's how this disease works. The guilt we are feeling isn't even our own, and we don't even realize it. The active alcoholic
cannot deal with all those crappy emotions, so he twists and turns and manipulates until the emotion is passed on to the other party.
Toss it back over to his side. Release it.
