It's not about what you can do for your spouse, it's about what you can do for you. He is an adult, this is his problem to solve not yours.
Time to focus on you, get yourself well. Go to meetings, read, read and read somemore.
He is controlling you, your every thought, is that how you want to live the rest of your life? Afraid to speak up, afraid to be your own person...only you know the answer....what is it?