Wow Murrill...22 years!!! That's awesome:-) I wholeheartedly agree with the cumulative path to figuring things out...and just because I am sober right now does not mean I don't need to keep learning!
Murray, anyone who knows me will definitely concur that my brain is wired "differently" something I've mostly liked about myself...I can visit the "box" but I definitely can't live in it...which actually, come to think of it, might be one of the reasons I liked drinking in the early days...I felt so different from everyone, and drinking helped me fit in, especially when I was vulnerable and just starting college after being something of a misfit in HS:-( Then ultimately when it got out of hand it stopped helping me fit in. Point being, I have no desire to fit in anymore, in recovery and in life, just going to be myself.