geez,
i went ten years without someone, and then found someone so completely unavailable it boggles the mind. it was fun for a while. but lesson learned.
i was also severely depressed during alot of this time, so i wasnt "shining it on" like i can.
:rotfxko
yeah, i know what you mean, losing myself, talk about collapsed boundaries.
i had none, didnt even recognize myself, and then wonder what went wrong?
hehehehehe
i am almost giddy now that i am getting it. and i will get it.
my boundaries which were weak anyway, disappeared when i found someone because my fear of abandonment is so deep, it colors every move i make.
i was trying to repair or "fix" the non relationship i had with my alcoholic father, who has been dead nearly twenty years. okay, that is not working.
:rotfxko
i am willing to try something else now. be my true self, which is pretty damn cool, and if someone comes along that wants what i am, all that i am, we can work something out.
Beth