welcome subjugated-
i'll second the advice to educate yourself on co-dependency. also, perhaps take a look at the 12 steps of alanon. recovery is about YOU. you sound ready for a change!
if that counselor isn't helping, then consider getting a different one.
it's understandable how you have shut down emotionally. i do understand how we numb ourselves whilst living with an addict. it's a defense mechanism. however, what about a life where you don't have to shut down and tune out?
when i began therapy, i really wanted to discuss what xABF was doing. i was surprised when my therapist really wasn't interested in this at all. she was interested in ME and always steered the session away from what he was doing. a year later, i get it!
recovery is hard work, but it's worth it.
ready for a change?
naive