I'm not ready to date yet, but...yesterday while I was reading the boundaries thread, I realized I'm going to need to watch for red flags that I wave at myself.
If I start to compromise any healthy boundaries, then it's time to reassess the relationship. If I can't take care of myself first, then what's the point? Recognizing red flags from the other person is clearly important, but I need to stay healthy to be able to do that.
HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
• You can say no or yes, and you are ok when others say no to you.
• You have a strong sense of identity. You respect yourself.
• You expect reciprocity in a relationship—you share responsibility and power.
• You know when the problem is yours and when it belongs to someone else.
• You share personal information gradually in a mutually sharing/trusting relationship.
• You don’t tolerate abuse or disrespect.
• You know your own wants, needs and feelings. You communicate them clearly in your relationships.
• You are committed to and responsible for exploring and nurturing your full potential.
• You are responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment. You allow others to be responsible for their own happiness and fulfillment.
• You value your opinions and feelings as much as others.
• You know your limits. You allow others to define their limits.
• You are able to ask for help when you need it.
• You don’t compromise your values or integrity to avoid rejection.