Yep, pretty sure my ex stole a bunch of my good jewelry. I haven't talked to him since the end of March but just realized this past week the stuff is gone. I stored it in a jewelry box on top of a bookshelf in my bedroom and I don't really take that stuff out very often, it's not anything I really wear, just family pieces that were handed down to me that have sentimental value but aren't really my style to wear.
My exabf did the same thing to me. Stole $3400 worth of jewelry from me and then had the audacity to replace it with fake looking jewelry. He then forged 2 checks of mine (each worth $75) and then had the audacity to write on the memo line Happy Birthday as if I was giving him a gift.
Anyway, definitely haven't seen the stuff since I ended things with him, and I know this is what addicts do but I'm really having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I just feel so sad and angry and betrayed. I never even really left him alone in my place, he must have done it quickly when I was in the bathroom at some point. He must have been plotting and planning it ahead of time to do it when he only had a short opportunity, that is what really hurts.
My ex also did it while he was there with me. I guess he took it while I was asleep. I caught him the next day and confronted him because the night he stole he left my place in a hurry, packed up all of his weekend belongings and was ghost. He was the only one with access to my place and when I confronted him he adamantly denied it. What a loser! Yet, I stayed. Never again.
I know I was naive for thinking he wouldn't do something like that to me, even though I knew he had stolen from his brother at some point a few years back. He had told me about that and told me all about how that was a bottom point for him and how hard it was to repair that relationship and make things right again. I guess I thought he had learned his lesson and wouldn't do it again, though I think on some level I knew that might not be the case. As I said, I made sure to never leave him alone in my place so clearly there were trust issues of some sort.
When my ex and I first met, he told me about his past. Had 5 years clean when we met. But he told me he stole from ex-girlfriends before to support his habit. I though the same thing that it couldn't happen to me. Well, past behavior is usually 100% on target in regards to current behavior. If an addict steals to support his/her habit in the past, more than likely he/she will steal in the event of a relapse. I learned that the hard way. It happened to me twice even though he expressed so much regret and pain for stealing from me the first time.
So now I don't know what to do, I feel like my head is sort of clouded by anger and I don't want to do the wrong thing.
File a police report and press charges. I went as far as to file a police report but didn't go through with pressing charges. Looking back on it, I should have. I hesitated to protect him because I didn't want him to get anymore consequences for his behavior/addiction. By me not pressing charges the first time, I showed him it was okay for the second time as I wouldn't carry through on my word. The second time, I did the same thing. Didn't press charges. Oh well, it's under the rug now and I know now. My thinking was I didn't want to have to deal with going to court.
But I know my judgement is probably not that good right now, in the midst of this, so I'm hoping you guys can give me some perspective. I have been doing pretty well since going no contact with him, really working on myself and trying to move forward.
This is awesome! Continue to do this. There is no future with someone after they have stolen from you and put you in a position of whether you should press charges on them or not. I mean, what kind of relationship is that??
The only suggestion I have is to make a decision about pressing charges or not. If not, take the hit from the loss and keep it moving. If you decide to press charges, then know that contact is possible and court will happen. Are you emotionally ready/capable to do that. You have already severed your ties and if you have no plans to get back with him. I say let it go.