(((Kelle)))
Just remember that it's not your job to fix him. I know you know this already, but if you're anything like me, sometimes it just helps me to have someone remind me of the things I already know. He'll find help when he's ready, and he may not leave his comfort zone long enough to do that as long as you're waiting in the wings. I have to agree with the others... NC sounds like a great plan, IMHO.
And for the record, I hope you don't ever get offended with anything I say. I promise I mean well.
:ghug3