Hi Kelle - glad you're posting!
You say you want to move on but don't know how. Yeah, that's the tough part, huh? It really just comes down to this: you stop all contact with him. Here on the board we call that "going no contact"..or even going NC! Having no contact accomplishes many things but the two big ones are these: 1) It lets him know you are serious about wanting to break up so that you are not sending mixed messages; and 2) even though it is painful, esp. not knowing what he's doing or feeling, it's the fastest and surest way to get through the pain of a breakup. I'm not saying it's EASY! Far from it!!! It's incredibly hard some days, but if you know that's what you want to do, you will be prepared beforehand and can plan accordingly. Just like when an addict is trying to get clean, they have a plan for what to do if they feel like they are going to relapse (call a sponsor, a friend, go to a funny movie, etc). They also stay away from people, places and things that might trigger a relapse -- get new friends, delete phone numbers of their using buddies, dealers, listen to different music, etc. You have to know going in that it's gonna be hard and then you be
ready for any and all obstacles. KNOW that there are going to be weak moments when you want to call him. KNOW that you will not EVER pick up the phone when he calls or answer his emails, etc. Call a friend when you are feeling weak. Get yourself a journal and some snappy upbeat music. Join a gym! Read that book you've been putting off. Attend some al-anon meetings. Post on SR. If you do that it won't take that long before you realize that a whole 6 hours have passed and you haven't even given him a thought....then it's 8 hours...then it's 12...then it's a whole day!!! You will start to feel like YOU again and YOU WILL BE HAPPY.
That's how you break up and move on with your life. Take it from one who has done it wrong more times than I can count. The one time I did it right, it worked like a charm!!
