Rozie,
I think we do what do because deep down inside we want so badly for them to do the right thing. So we keep giving chance after chance, and keep getting devastated in the process.
I have done the same as you time after time, expecting AS to come through. Wanting so bad for it to work out just this once. If it did, then I could say that something has changed for the better. But sadly, it never does.
I now know that if I'm taken its my own fault. I should know better and expect no more than he can give, which is nothing while he is active in his addiction.
Us mom's find great joy in helping our kids. But to expect my AS to act the same as my healthy kids is just not fair to anyone.
I'm sorry your were hurt again
(((Hugs)))