Sigh I know...I just..Im a fact person and it doesn't make sense to me to want what destroys you!!! I wanna help him and I can't and I'm realizing this but god it sucks... I just want him...and sometimes the thought that Id rather have him drunk than any other guy sober..scares me to death!
How could I even think about going back just from a few kind words and some progress on his part....only when I am completely heart wrenchingly honest with myself (which is never as often as it should be) I know with out a doubt that its a very good chance when I leave it will be over...he is not gonna change
But I push those thoughts away cause I am his loving wife and I want so bad to believe in HIM!:
just kill me pls =)