Rozied
My son often takes runs at me for this or that. I understand how difficult it is to say no to them. You are a kind, loving and generous person.....and those are good things. It is very difficult but I have to try to remember that those traits are good and appreciated by most of the people in my life but they are traits I have to carefully manage because they can be absolutely lethal to my addicted son.
It feels crappy enough to realize that he has once again taken advantage of you. You don't need me to rub your nose in it. Just writing it here was good! It means that you are self aware in retrospect. That's really good! It's a step in the right direction. Addicts are really tricky and we can't beat ourselves up when they dupe us. We need to remember the hundreds of times they didn't and we were strong enough to say "No". Be gentle with yourself.......only you can insulate yourself from your addicted son.
gentle hugs to you as you walk this difficult path of self discovery.