Hmmm, let's see...
Thinking that if we act a certain way we can influence the alcoholic's recovery (for the better, that is)
Waiting for the other shoe to drop... all the time
Allowing the alcoholic's bad behavior to feel like a reflection on US
Believing the lies they tell
Doubting the truth other people tell us
Rationalizing
Taking responsibility for being the peace-keeper between the alcoholic and other people
I know I did all that stuff for awhile.