What an amazing thread filled with tons of insight. Thank you all for sharing.
As a recovering alcoholic, I can tell you all that I do come to this board to offer input when there are questions about alcoholism or when behaviors are marked as alcoholic when they are just bad personality traits.
I have come here and learned tons from the other side on how my alcoholic actions hurt those around me even though I never drove drunk, got arrested, fired....blah blah. I did see how just watching someone (ME) destroy my life for my family/friends/colleagues was devastating.
What I will say is that there are various forms of recovery aside from AA but it is on the alcoholic to admit and understand what they are and seek help. Recovery is about lifestyle change and positive actions. Beating the same old path leads right back to the same thing.
I know for myself and for many others....we drank for depression, to cope, to forget the pain in our lives. I personally blamed many for who I became and it was only once I got off the sauce did I see that I caused my own pain by allowing lifes ups and downs to take me under. I allowed myself to stay in an abusive relationship with my EH. Was he a POS? YES. Did he cause me to drink? NO. That was on me and man what a hellish nightmare I started and I am grateful everyday that I found SR, got counseling for my issues and have a wonderful amazing husband who supports me and believes in me.
The key to my recovery is that no matter what happens in life.....it is no excuse to drink. I am a better person when I am sober and I am accountable for my actions.
This is why much of what you see maybe in the A threads is focused on the alcoholic. Because so much time has been spent blaming others for drinking and using it as an excuse to booze.
Only the alcoholic can get sober and reach for support. This is why we don't spend tooo much time dwelling on others around us since we hold the key to starting anew.
I enjoy coming here and I know that I am continously learning more and more about this thing called alcoholism.
Stay strong friends and as I always say.....support but always know YOU are not responsible for the alcoholic. Only they can reach out and get sober.
God Bless.