My advice for discussions with the kids: Just the facts ma'am. Meaning, try not to tell them how you FEEL about the whole thing, the alcoholism, their Dad. My mother limited it to: (1) Suggestions on how to deal with my Dad (stay away from him, go to your room if he is bothering you, avoid him, go out and play, go to a friend's house), (2) He has a disease, (3) Treat your father with respect, no matter HOW he behaves.
She never complained about him or bad-mouthed him, she never denied there was a problem, she avoided getting emotional about any of it in front of us, she lived her own life, with her own friends and activities, and she always stayed busy (and still does in her 70s). He is STILL sitting in that chair, drinking drinking drinking. She does not have a relationship to bring her what a nice partner would bring her. She has no partner, just a burden and someone to make life more difficult. It's sad. I am glad you are here on SR and I am glad you are going to Al-Anon.