Don't talk to stupid drunk people when they are being stupid and drunk. That's coming from an alcoholic with 5 months sobriety.
I'm truely sorry for the pain that you are baing caused by your husband. Stay away from him when he is drinking it's toxic and will suck every inch of your spirit from you. Giving him attention is just fuelling his self-obsessed and egotistical sickness. Talk to him when he is sober, even if it's when he is massively hungover and between drunks, if that's the only time he is even remotely lucid, then you'll have to go for it. That's the best time to get sense from people like us when we're active.
I hope things get better for you