Bizarre Conversation
My romantic interest and I had a very odd conversation today/ He brought up his drinking/using and so I listened for a bit. I did pretty well in not inserting my own opinions, other than to say that no one needs to use in order to be happy.
Here are some of the stranger tidbits from the conversation:
"I know I don't need it, but I want it".
"Eating a cheeseburger is just as bad for you as addiction."
"I am trying to decide whether or not I am going to drink at this party on Saturday night."
"I stole some pain pills from my roomate who had been prescribed them due to a work-related accident."
"I took some beer out of their refridgerator." Refering to his roommates' beer.
"I am still trying to figure out who I am."
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Then later in the conversation:
"I'm not going to talk to you about this anymore because I feel like you're judging me. You are making me feel ashamed."
"I grew up around drinking, everyone in my family drinks" I know that some of his family members are alcoholics.
"When I talk about drinking with you, it's like a taboo subject for you. when I tak about it with other people, I don't get the same negative feelings that I get from you."
"This conversation is making me want to use."
I decided awhile back to not bring this topic up with him anymore, because he has so deep into this active addiction cycle that the things he is saying he never would have said while he was sober.
I am going be looking for a new job (he is my coworker), and as soon as I do, I intend to cut off contact with him for awhile. At this point, it seems he would need to go back to rehab in order to get sober again.
It is time for me to move on.