Katie
If anyone understands where you are, another mother does. I've been doing pretty good in my recovery...or at least I thought I was. But I've been emotionally and psychologically assaulted by my addicted son recently too. I had to stop and recognize my part in the problem......again. My son's drug of choice......I don't know......I think it's anything he can get his hands on. As long as his behavior is reasonable, I seem to be able to manage just fine and there are times when his behavior is reasonable. But then WHAM out of the blue, he spirals and the behavior is as irrational as you've described. Threats of suicide......that's his favorite one......he knows that it's my one hot button that will get a reaction to try to stop him.
But it's other people like YOU who are having to deal with the same issues and are having to be strong in the face of addiction that help me. Thank you for posting. Thank you for being here in SR. (Now I'm wondering if that's a form of codependence? lol)
gentle hugs