Thank you for all the kind responses...I truely appreciate it!! I guess I'm just scared to let go of the relationship I used to have and what could be....if he would just wake up and realize what an a** he is being. I mean, choosing booze over your family??? Who does that?? I just don't get it....I have been to an alanon meeting and have tried counseling. Maybe I just gave up too soon...I've just become really depressed living in this situation and maybe I've given up.......how can I love someone so much who constantly hurts me and puts me second????