I have read this post several times and I just keep getting the feeling that there is something between the lines that I am not seeing.
She has found herself a temporary sponsor, so he is not sponsoring her.
My gut instincts say there is a power and control dynamic?
What I can say for sure is that there are trust issues in the relationship and that needs resolved because trust is one of the most basic foundations in a marriage.
Do you go to al-anon?