He may or may not be sober. However, he is still displaying the "ism's" of alcoholism. Without recovery (life changes) he will continue to manipulate, blame shift, deny, lie, etc. because it is his way of reacting to life.
The healthiest thing you can do is detach. detach. detach.
Can you take yourself for a walk? Physical excercise helps me release the stress of dealing with a dysfunctional individual.
Some other steps that help me:
Put the problem onto a piece of paper and put it into my HP box. Leave it there for HP (no takebacks).
Forgive myself and move on.
Make a gratitude list.
Peace and ((hugs)) to you and your children!