timeheals I am so happy that you are seeing a psychologist--it helps to have someone listen and provide support. Leaving can be harder when you have children. Part of me thought I have wrecked our family. I did not. I am trying to create a healthy environment for my kids. They still have their dad and it appears he is staying sober when he has them-which is good. He still drinks and gets high when he does not have them.
My 9 year old has difficulties with the separation/divorce but is dealing with it pretty well. He is sad we don't all live under the same roof but he knows why. I don't Daddy-bash but I don't lie either. stbxah can remain in denial as long as he likes--my kids have eyes--they see. They notice the difference in their dad now. He is still extremely selfish because whether he is drinking or not-life is all about him.
My 5 year old--about a month ago we started to pray differently at night and started talking to God instead of doing the rote night prayer. Once night he broke down crying and asked God to make Mama and Daddy live together again and stay married. Hard, very hard. I just hugged him and told him God wants us to do things but we have to decide ourselves what we will do and we can only change ourselves. Not sure that was useful or not. I also told him that some times God says no when we prayer for things and there are a reason. I don't deem to know God's will in our situation. I'm not that powerful. I do know I don't want my kids growing up having the same crazy childhood I have.