Thank you, for the comforting, as I was upset last night. As we all are, with any loved one struggling.
I am sorry for your pain, with children going uphill in this battle with addiction/mental issues. I know that i am getting better with my boundaries, tho slowly. I do not want to make a mistake, where my son is concerned. sometimes we only get one chance.
i bought him smokes, for his father is sending him money(for smokes), and I do not want him to use it for beer, so i told him he could pay me back when the money comes.
after some thought and after my daughters lectures", i realize that i am doing the control thing, that us aca's are so good at. if he gets a job, i cannot control what he spends the money on- i can just control what i will let him do here.
as long as he is staying sober-right now, he has not much choice- I will go slowly, and get him the medical help he needs. He claims that the sinus thing is so distracting, that he cannot concentrate on anything very well. i have no choice but to believe him, and to get him help for that , asap. we had to file for financial aid, and are waiting for the ENT group at the university hosp. to review his referral, and to call us, to make appt. we got the full financial aid (whew)
hadt o take him to the emergency room first, over a month ago, where the doctor prescribed nose spray, and of all things , tramadol, which is a really nice drug for addicts, as i understand it, from reading blogs on it . he felt so much better, of course, and that did not help matters here. he cannot understand why the ent specialist we went to did not give him something too. just a referral, after i asked for it, to get him to university hosp. there appears to be some kind of shadow on one side of the face, on the sinus area. hopefully they will get it fixed, and he will at least not be in misery, as he struggles with the other problems he has.
i really want to let go- if i knew that my son would be happy for it, i'd let him go, and never contact him again. to know he was happy would be enough.
saying prayers for your children. i know your hearts hold a pain, and I pray that each day, a little more good comes into their lives, and yours too. I need God's help, and am open to his suggestions,for sure. I believe He works through us.
I am sorry to Coyote, for the loss of the mother of your child. I hope that you are both doing well. I so apperciate your caring , and compassion, and understanding, and the support, even if you all know someone is not doing the best thing.
thank you all for being here.