I have read them. And yes it is a horrible upbringing! I am at present preparing myself to leave in the next few weeks. There are reasons for needing to get through the next few weeks though.
And I know that if affects them. Was just interested as to what was a defining moment for others. I think my big defining moment was when my 2 year old started copying his father. Of a night he will go to the cupboard, get a cup, go to the freezer, fill it with ice, go outside, sit up beside Dad, and say "Drink Daddy". Oh it makes me want to cry that even my baby boy is modelling his fathers behaviour, without him even being able to understand how wrong it is.