well Anvilhead,
it is not so black and white. you are right- i am giving him a roof, a bed, and a home. perhaps you missed the part where i have stopped giving him smokes and the two beers a week. my son is not a well adjusted man, and i have been doing the best i can, short of letting him walk the streets , with no where to go. Do you have children? Do you know how hard it is to lay your head on a pillow at night, and wonder if your child got an available bed at the homeless shelter? I do.
My son is not a normal person, and i just spent lots of time and effort, getting him in to psychiatrists, to see if there is some reason why I should not try letting him hit bottom. I would imagine there are some instances where it is not in a persons best interest to be deserted. If it is so helpful to make people homeless, why then are there so many homeless , hopeless people in this world? I guess you do not feel sorry for them, either?
You do not know if my son IS an alcoholic, or if he has a mental illness that needs treatment.
You also do not know me, or why I do what I do. If you think I like seeing my son be half the man that he should be /could be, you are wrong again. If you think I am doing it for myself , somehow, boy, that is stupid. My son is breaking my heart. He wants a family, home, job, and his dignity, and I want those things for him too.
We are waiting for the hospital to call and make an appt for him, for his sinus problem. It has bothered him for at least his whole adult life, and it is so distracting, and makes him miserable. he has no car, no job. He is not drinking here, and will not, at my request. if he does , he is out. I am learning from being here , that i have not had strong enough boundaries.
I had s---y parents, both alcoholic, and guess at what normal is, in parenting. I am afraid, and i know that this is a desperate situation. I have taken him looking for jobs, and there are not many opportunities here. He is trying.
Just what do you get out of making me feel stupid?