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Old 07-16-2010, 03:34 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
keithj
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
I don't view this as as external condition at all. External conditions come and go for good and bad. Jails, jobs, relationships, etc., are all just an external manifestation of my internal condition.

At it's simplest, I've lost the power of choice in drink. Because I can't safely drink (phenomenon of craving and no off switch), my only hope is not drinking at all. But because I can't stay away from the first drink (mental obsession), I'm in a hopeless spot.

I can make a decision to not drink, but I can not manage that decision. Therefore my life is unmanageable.

A little deeper level is that I have a spiritual malady. I experience restlessness, irritability, and discontent unless I can drink. But we established I can't drink. So I'm catch 22, damned if I do, damned if I don't.

I have an internal condition, a dis-ease, that is the result of my spiritual malady. That internal discomfort makes my life unmanageable whether I drink or not.
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