Hey DVD,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. I'm glad you're here.
Alcoholism is a disease. It is not your fault that your wife has it.
I repeat, it is not your fault.
And I don't see how you have failed at anything after fourteen years of support.
You can't make her seek help, she has to want that for herself.
And whether or not it feels that way to you right now, letting her go to find her own way is a very loving thing to do.
Please come join us on the Alanon and Naranon boards.
There are a lot of people there who understand just what you're going through.
Hugs,
Gabe