I have nearly ruined my life-- my finances, my career, my health, my friendships, my relationships-- with my addictions, because I thought (for nearly 28 years) that I could handle them all on my own. If only I had the right job, enough money, the perfect girlfriend, the respect I deserved from my friends and colleagues, I told myself, then my problems would be solved.
Well, sometimes the old, overused recovery cliches are right on; in all honesty, my best thinking did get me here. I thought I could beat this disease on my own. My thinking got me very far in other parts of my life, but it kept me sick and ultimately got me where I am today. And my best thinking won't get me out of this mess, either. I need to reach out to others and embrace a new way of living. I can't fix my brain with my brain. My own experience has verified that repeatedly
Today, I understand the nature of my disease (my stinking thinking) in a much different light. As long as simply ‘not getting loaded’ was the foundation of my recovery, my disease then had hundreds of options remaining that it could use to keep me sick.
Ivan