Originally Posted by
akrasia 
My counsellor said it would be a long process, finding other outlets for stress, etc., as one would expect. (Which, I'm happy to leave the whole treatment process to them as I'm not an addictions specialist, just so long as it's something serious.)
I was able to get it off my chest that I was tired of walking on eggshells all the time, that even when he isn't bingeing I'm worried about when the next one will be, and I can't go on like that. Which my husband kind of knew, but it was nice to say my piece.
I need a plan for myself though. I could do this: if, at the end of these two weeks, he's still doing the intensive counselling and diary, then I'll cancel my apartment and stay. If he's back to the "Hey, what's the big deal?" crap, then I'll go.
Keep in mind, the counselor recommended intensive counseling just this morning. The intensive counseling hasn't started yet, right? I'd look at the A's actions over the next week. Does he start the diary and does he schedule and maintain the intensive counseling?
The counselor has advised you that this is a long process.
You have admitted to walking on eggshells in your own home.
You have an apartment available to give yourself and your A some time to work on your own recoveries. Taking the apartment does not mean ending the relationship forever.
The apartment is your santuary. You can walk around barefoot (no eggshells). If you are grumpy after work, you can be grumpy and relax at your own pace. Walking around on eggshells is a learned behavior. In my experience, I was more aware of another persons feelings. I eventually put the other persons feelings ahead of my own. Learning to be aware of my own feelings and learning to respect my own feelings took time.
The apartment is an opportunity to take the time needed to focus on your own feelings. It is an opportunity to learn to love and respect yourself.
You can still love your A. You can respect his recovery by giving him the time and space he needs to do the hard work.
Best wishes to you both as you begin your recovery journies.