Hi betty...and WELCOME to SR!! This is a great place to be; you'll find lots of Strength, Experience and Hope (ESH) here.
In case you don't know them already, I thought I'd post the 3 C's of addiction for you:
You didn't CAUSE it.
You can't CURE it.
You can't CONTROL it.
The last two are particularly relevant to your situation; as you've seen, nothing you say (or do) will ever change your bf's drinking. He'll go on doing what he wants to do. The only power you have is over yourself.
I'd also like to mention that the disease of alcoholism is a progressive one. Though your ABF may be functional *now*, it will only get worse as the years go by. His drinking may only rarely affect you (well, except for the diminishing sex life...) TODAY, but there's not guarantee about tomorrow. As you have seen, drinking leads to aggression which can and will affect you.
Have you considered going to Al-Anon for support?
Keep reading and posting! SR is always open.