I have been with my AH for 6 years now, and I have had very similar experiences. I have seen the "change in attitude" and the tears, the "I just can't drink anymore", the counselor that he seemed to really be loving but was lying to him just as much as he was lying to me. My counselor said exactly what one of the other posts said. She told me that someone who really wants help will do WHATEVER it takes, not just give me enough to keep me hanging on by a thread. I moved out 5 months ago because I knew it was the right thing to do. I finally had a lightbulb moment.
We have a little boy and I have kept in contact with him more than I probably should have. He went into rehab and I thought I would be moving back in as soon as rehab was over because that is all I thought it would take. Well, he went through rehab. He lied the whole time to everyone, including himself. That's what this disease does. I have really been backing off the last few weeks, and yesterday he told me how much he misses me. I felt myself falling into the same trap again. I have been ready to divorce him, and somehow I am just so scared to make it final. I realize by saying I am done and staying I am completely harming this situation.
With alcoholics, every counselor and piece of advice I have ever gotten is to NEVER say something you are not completely prepared to follow through with. Also, the talking, crying, nagging, and then going to sleep and waking up the next morning thinking that today will be different will most likely become the story of your life unless you decide to take care of YOU. I am so glad that I don't have to do that part anymore. Like I said before, I hope he is different, but I cried myself to sleep almost every night for 5 1/2 years.
The next morning he would rub my back or cuddle me for hours. He never reallt touched me unless it was the morning after he had been drinking, so I was starving for the affection. It was just enough to keep me there. It's so sad how much I needed to feel loved. You should absolutely read this article:
Addiction, Lies and Relationships
It helped me so much as well as reading other's experiences. I also go to Alanon and do a lot of praying. Good luck to you! I am still in it, but getting more ready every day to do what I know is best :-)