Thanks everyone.
He's sobered up now and is back to his old self, but feeling weak and tired. Yesterday, for the first time since I've known him, he said, "I want this to stop forever." You have to understand: although he's a kind person, he's not into making flowery promises to placate people. In the past about the drinking he's just said stuff like, "Hey, that's who I am, I can't change, I have these binges once in a while and go mad. Je suis comme je suis." For him to say, "This can't happen again," is quite a shock.
He was saying, "I think I just need to never have alcohol again. I can never drink without it sliding into a binge." (ORLY?) We did have a little talk about how that might happen, what he would do for relaxation or how he would cope with urges to drink. Though I was caring, I kept myself aloof from it as well, saying: "Well, I bet your counsellor would have some ideas for you about what would work." I don't want to be the therapist and anyway I'm not qualified!
He asked whether I'd like to come to an appointment with his drink counsellor. Thursday is my day off work, so my husband called the counsellor, who very kindly agreed to come and do a home visit on Thursday morning.
So we'll see how that goes. I do feel hopeful about the change in attitude, and the fact that he genuinely likes this counsellor guy, whom he's been seeing for a few weeks. I asked him again today about the in-patient residential treatment thing, and he said he'd rather try treatment at home. Also, on Thursday I'll be able to say my piece about how I'm at the end of my tether--I expect it will be easier to say when the counsellor is there. I want to be able to tell him that even when he's not bingeing, I'm worrying about when it will strike, planning my life around it. I can't have a conversation with him without some element of placating and coddling him. Which, come on, that's not love, that's not even friendly.
Anyway, we'll see. I haven't cancelled my apartment yet. I haven't told my husband about it yet either.