Sounds to me like he was overcompensating on the "nice" front so as to set you up, to entrap you before his real ugly side came out.
This man sounds like the personification of addiction itself. Fun in the beginning, a few headaches but nothing really bad early on, but then those early red flags turn into bonfires, then years have gone by and all your available assets, both personally and financially, have been squandered.
A good man won't try so hard...a good man will just, well, feel right in every way.
Murray