Is it safe to stay?
Hi All,
I'm new... My husband of just over a year has started AA July 3rd. He was lead to do this because after a friends wedding he confessed to having thoughts of killing me. We are going through marriage counseling. The AA doesn't bother me as much as the fact that he thought about killing me. He hasn't done any kind of grand gesture or even anything extra in our marriage besides going to AA (which by the way it too 4 weeks for him to actually go) to make me feel better or loved. He says the killng thoughts were related to alcholo but he had them when he wasn't drinking, just hung over. I don't know if I can ever trust my husband again and the way he is acting isn't very promissing. I just didn't know if anyone had a similar story, or if you could give me any advice. In my head I have given it 6 months (so after christmas) to work on our marriage.
Also the other thing- yesterday I asked him if he had been drinking and he said now. I asked him to look me in the eyes and tell me and he said "I haven't had a drink in 11 days" (which would have been the start of his AA program) but techincally he should not have been drining since June 9th when we went to therapy and I said if you drink a single thing it's over (which that puts us more at 34 days) So I am confused that he didn't say "I haven't had a drink since our friends wedding" or "I haven't had a drink in over a month" but he said 11 days. Is that related more to his first chip and AA and that is what he counting now or do I need to think he had a drink?
Sorry this is so long. Thanks for your help!