SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - I feel a little guilty. I know thats dumb.
Old 07-12-2010, 11:12 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
I feel like, from my own experience, that you need to take a wait and see approach on this. You may be thinking he can just stop, or even cut down, right now, but only time will tell.

Many alcoholics are able to quit drinking for a short period of time. I have a friend in AA who's told me, he could go for months w/out drinking. But he always went back to it eventually, and it would gradually go back to being excessive.

My xabf was drinking every night...we kept breaking up, getting back together...the last time we got back together, he was going to his therapist, went to a couple AA meetings...and managed to stop drinking every night. He could actually go a couple of weeks not drinking...thing is, it gradually slid back into drinking excessively, even tho he wasn't doing it every night.

Because he would get angry and violent when drunk, I told him if he was going to do this "cutting down" thing, I could not tolerate any drunken behavior. If he got drunk, I was out.

Well I let him slide w/ getting drunk about 4 times in an 8 month period of being back together. The 5th time he got drunk, he called me names, threw things at was really bad. It pushed me over the edge, and I had finally had enough.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Drinking is destructive, harmful behavior--alcohol is a drug, a depressant and is toxic to your body. It's funny how it's such a socially accepted behavior in our society, that we look at it as a "hobby" or something. No, it's imbibing a drug that f's a lot of people up.

Originally Posted by incognito70 View Post
BF has been doing great. Really great.

I've been at his house for the most part, for several days. I havent seen any drinking. There has been no beer in sight. I almost feel guilty. :-/ Like I took something from him. We really havent discussed it. We went to a party Saturday and we both drank. It was a wedding reception and everyone was drinking.. we stayed the night, got up and drove home (2 hours) he didnt drink at all Sunday... I didnt see any beer today either. I havent smelled it or anything. Aside from the party I have not seen anything that leads me to believe he has drank.

Now, I know that doesnt mean its just changed and done. That isnt my issue Im posting about.

Im posting because I know its silly of me to feel guilty and ..almost sorry for him? I dont even know why. Besides that I love him and I know he likes drinking beer and we had the talk and now he doesnt. He agreed with me during the talk, that it wasnt a good thing for the kids to see all the time. So he stopped. We havent talked about "quitting" as in never drinking... it is too good to be true to think that he really CAN just have control of it?

The kids spend a lot of time at their grand parents on weekends and I really dont care if he drinks then.

I kinda felt like, this guy has controlled, cut down and managed his own drinking .. from very heavy in his younger days to way less now in his older age ( well 44 lol) and like MAYBE he really is in a good enough position with it that he can control it even more.

What do you think?
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