My dear mentallyexh, after the sh*t times and lack of support given you by your AH, being a single mum again may be a great relief. So far your AH sounds more like a tantrum throwing, out of control teen hoon, not a husband and father and I itch to give him a boot in his rear.
You have done the job of mum to 4 kids, and ok now there are 6, but the older ones can help out a bit.......anything has to be better than being driven to mental exhaustion by a drunken bully.
Give him the boot, and get your life back.....and yes change the name when it no longer applies.
God bless