Hi. What great advice from all these caring people. Had it not been for Alanon and having the support of those people in my meetings, I would be in a different place right now. Alanon is not for your alcoholic, it's for you. You need to get help for yourself. I tried for a long time to "control" my husband with his drinking. I would tell him how many drinks he was allowed, I would check his cooler before he went to play golf, then I would be waiting at the door when he came in and just go insane if he was drunk. You can fix this with him. You can't stop him, you can't change it. The only one who can fix him is him. AA is not for people who need help, it's for people who want it. Really want it. I had to come to the realization that I was and active enabler. I was in denial that he really was an alcoholic know darn well deep down he was. My life got worse and worse. Finally, our oldest daughter while home from college looked at him and asked if he had any plans on getting help. For some reason, something hit him and he started going to AA. It took me a few months to get to Alanon and now realize I should have been in there years ago. But, I am a firm believer that we are all put where we are supposed to be when we get there. I was doing all that you were doing before his sobriety....and nothing worked until he realized he needed to change. One of the things he said to me was the first meeting was like a huge weight lifted off of him. The same thing happened to me when I went to Alanon. All of a sudden, I realized that I was not the only one living this horrible unmanageable life. I did not feel alone anymore. It helps YOU change to get YOUR own peace and normalcy. It's an amazing feeling. My suggestion is to find a meeting in your areal asap.
Remember that you did not cause this, you can't change it and you can't control it. I hope he does finally get sick and tired of being sick and tired...if he only knew what is waiting for him. Bless his soul.