Oh, I forgot, two more things. I think that my anger with addicts and alcoholics has lessened significantly over time because since i got into Recovery: (1) I stopped HELPING them so much and started using those resources that I would have spent on them (my time, money, energy, efforts, work, etc), ALL on ME and (2) I made changes to my life so that I get most of my self-esteem from sources other than the person in my life. I am consciously aware that their behavior has NOTHING to do with me or my worth. In hindsight, I realize now these are probably some of the biggest differences in my life that helped my anger. My very best advice, if you want it, is to GET SELFISH. And lose any guilt about it. And don't worry about becoming a selfish a$$hole because we all start out so empathetic and giving that it is likely IMPOSSIBLE for us to turn into "one of them."
I hope I am making sense here. Sorry if not.