Oh, and I forgot to mention XAH.
We did the every-other-weekend thing for a couple of years (only AFTER he got sober), and then he took a job on the north slope in Alaska where he works something like 5 weeks on and 3 weeks off. He keeps an apartment here in town so he can spend his off time with the kids. And, although sometimes he does things that make me want to wring his neck, for the most part we have an amicable relationship where we cooperate in the best interests of the children.
He is not a parent to them in the way that I am, but at least he has a relationship with them.
L