No no no no no no...
..alcoholism is not a sickness like cancer. Staying with an alcoholic and helping him out his messes only teaches him that there are no consequences for his drinking, which is what helps KEEP him drinking.
It seems counterintuitive, but we are always actually HELPING the alcoholic by detaching when they are in active disease.
It's hard to say what he really wants from you, but someone who cannot love himself, can also NOT love you. It's just not possible. He might just want to keep you around so he can maintain the delusion that he's actually capable of conducting a relationship with a woman and therefore is NOT an alcoholic.
Originally Posted by
missb89 
Would the right thing to do be to have stayed with him through his sickness if I really loved him and wait to see if he would find recovery.