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Old 07-11-2010, 01:41 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
chicory
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Thanks for the comments and the link, Sandrawg.
I figured things were gonna get ugly. and so it begins.
He must have hit or thrown something in his room, and I went to see what it was. He mumbled "what do you care, your being hateful to me anyway". I said simply, "you are not going to do this here, or you will be out of here. I told him that I was 58 years old, and had either been worried or helping him for most of my adult life. that I was not going to do anything for him that he wont do for his self.
of course, he began to say things like, no one is helping. my frieinds wont return calls. his oldest friend wont return a call, requesting to do some work for him on his website. of course, his friend is wise to him- in that my son only does this for money for drink.
He went on to say that the discomfort in his face (sinus - undiagnosed problem) is driving him crazy, and i should not be angry about the 1 day that he drank to ease it. I said "you mean the three days that you were drunk, each day?" he minimizes every bad trait.
I found out what happened at the last psyc. appt! He said it in his anger, that she thought he was like some local scum, and seeking drugs! Well, I can tell you he was probably doing that, trying to get something for his "misery" of his sinus situation. So, I am guessing that her opinion is that he is dependent on medicating his misery. It is kind of a relief that he is not bipolar 2 and that means he is just as accountable as anyone else. of course, he would be even with bipolar 2, but we dont have to worry about medications that he may need to take and risk him drinking with them..
I looked him in the eye, and told him that he is being this way, cause he wants alcohol or meds to feel normal, and to medicate his self. He looked at me surprised, but of course denied it. said that a year ago, he was not dependent on it at all-A year ago, he was in the homeless shelter, with no money to spend on it. and a year ago, he was drinking so much no one wanted to take him in!
I figure it will only be a matter of time before I have to chase him out, for being angry, and trying to frighten me with his anger. he hit the car with his fist, and believe me, i was trying to just set the ground rules, calmly. it was making him mad. i told him that he can go to jail, live there, get arrested, and live on the streets, if that is all he wants for his life.

I did not buy him tobacco, (he rolls them, for it is cheaper- how thoughtful that he worries about my finances), and he is stressing , with no nicotine! I am torn, should i buy them, so he can at least be calmer? I know a lot of folks at AA burn them up, for they get pretty nervous , and need the calming effects. but he could just get on the bike i bought so he could look for a job, and pick up smokes off the ground, like he did 6 months ago. I am so angry about having to deal with this.
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