i am sorry your husband is unable to strike a balance. i probably cant' give the best advice, but i wanted to post to let you know you are definitely in my prayers. marriage takes work and i believe two people have to spend some quality time alone for the relationship to be healthy and for each person to have their individual needs met. it sounds like you are very understanding about his recovery and looking for hope and a way to make it thru. i hope this forum helps you and yours. and i am sorry i don't have the advice the rest do. like i said, will pray for you and hope that a balance is found.