Thank you for all of your input. We have sat down and had several serious conversations. I am totally supportive of AA and want him to have that in his life because it is what he needs. For awhile we started our week with a schedule and a date night. It lasted for about 2 months. He then decided that I was trying to control him and our date nights have slowly dwindled away. I also started working out with him 3 times a week so that I could spend time with him.
Today is the 4th of July. I went to my mom's for a bbq. He went to his sponsor's for a bbq and fireworks, he insisted that he was obiligated for both. I tried to negotiate so that we could be together, bbq at mom's fireworks at his sponsor's. That wasn't good for him so here I am alone. This is after he spent 3 1/2 hours this morning trimming their bushes so their house looked good for the bbq.
I tried to explain to him that we need family time as well. By the way we spent 5 hours with his family yesterday.
It wasn't until 4 months ago that I decided that it was time to put some serious balance back into our lives. After 3 years in the program I didn't think that spending 4-5 days a week attending meetings and doing service work was working for our family.
Today he informed me that I am trying to be to controlling and am too emotional. You could ask anyone that knows me and they would tell you that I am not a needy person that relies on others to make me happy. All of us need some attention. I am getting very little of it and when I bring up the fact that we need time together I am considered controlling.
I have read most of the blue book and it was very enlightening. I attended a couple of Alanon meeting and felt very out of place. All of the people there were still living and dealing with loved ones that were still using. I continue to read and learn each day, this board has been helpful.
Thanks for listening.