Welcome Yellowbirdy.
You are now on the road to recovery and have taken the first step by finding this site and starting to educate yourself. Keep reading and try some of those stickies above, there is a great source of information about the disease. Do try to find an Al-Anon meeting nearby you too, for support and as a great help in getting your 'lightbulb' moment and finding out exactly what you are dealing with and how him being an alcoholic was certainly not caused by you.