I would love to believe that I did not cause it, but I cannot agree with that, for some reason. Or are you just saying that I did not cause his addictive traits?
Likely the reason you cannot agree with that is because you feel GUILTY. As long as you allow yourself to feel guilt, you cannot help him in the way that he needs to be helped. I tell my mother this ALL the time: YOU DID NOT CAUSE what is "wrong" with him. It simply is not possible. A person cannot CAUSE mental illness or alcoholism or addiction in another person. They are diseases. WE do not CREATE diseases, they are not our fault. Nothing you did or did not do could ever cause him to do the things he does or does not do. Alcoholism and mental illness is not caused by parenting skills. Human biology is MUCH stronger than we like to give credit for. In this era, we tend to attribute MUCH to psychology and social interactions. But I have recently come to accept that biology is stronger than psychology. You cannot help him if you continue to blame yourself. Please be good to you.