YellowBirdy, welcome to SR.
If we were powerful enough to make someone an alcoholic, we'd have the power to cure them too.
Shifting the blame is a common theme in active alcoholism.
I would suggest you start educating yourself as much as possible on alcoholism. There are several 'sticky' topics at the top of this forum with good reading material.
Look for Alanon meetings in your area and start attending. There you will find others who have been where you are, and can offer face-to-face support and understanding. Alanon has been a lifesaver for me. I was married to an alcoholic/addict, and I have a 32 year old daughter who is active.
Get your hands on a copy of the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It's an excellent starter book.
There are 3 C's to remember:
You didn't cause his alcoholism.
You can't control his alcoholism.
You can't cure his alcoholism.
Please take good care of yourself, and I'm glad you have reached out for help!
