Nerggirl is right, Momsrainbow. You are powerless over the addict. This was a huge revelation for me. Once I let go of trying to control him (and enabling him) and concentrated on ME and working to making my life better, we eventually separated. I may sometimes miss him working on things around the house (most of which he never completed anyway), but you know, moms, you can hire someone for that when you have the money. And without them using/stealing your money, I found I had a little more left anyway without him there.
No matter what happens to him, you will be OK. It takes time to walk through the pain ... but it will get better for you! Keep reading and posting!