I certainly see your point. The situation here is that my son is not drinking, unless he has a few bucks, and then he just gets a couple of beers. He could spend it on vodka, like he used to at my home, and drink all day. so far, he has not done that. he has gone without a beer for a month at a time, and no shakes, no strange behaviour, except to wish he had a beer. he has anxiety, and has always been high strung and a floor pacer. many people in my family have a few beers, some probably have a few daily, and that does not make them alcoholic.
I do, however, think he would drink more and more, and the hard stuff again, if he does not get help. How can you treat someone who is not drinking , for a drinking problem? I would love to see him go to counseling ,I feel he needs help for a mental condition, and for the tendency to medicate his anxiety.
this is a messy area, i think. if someone is bipolar, they need medication, or some treatment, right? many drink because of the discomfort of being bipolar, and to treat them for alcoholism first , well, I am not sure how that would work.
I used to be convinced that he was just a lazy selfish alcoholic, but not anymore. I know there is something else, that has been there, for most of his life- non-drinking years, too.
I am not saying that he has not abused alcohol, or pills like codeine. but that is not what started his misery. the underlying problem , and I am almost 100% sure there is one. I am not trying to make excuses- sometimes there are valid arguments to be made. not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic. I know alcoholics- mom and dad were both dead before they reached 65.
My son could easily be one, and maybe he is. but i feel that there is something that will make his life miserable, if he never touches another drop.
perhaps I should post my comments on another place. I am feeling that i am coming across as difficult or in denial. I do not wish to offend anyone, either. If someone had cancer, and drank to ease the pain, would you call that alcoholism?